Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Having a hard day.

The Breakup (yes, capitalized) must have officially hit me today. Nevermind all the apartment-hunting I've done over the past couple of days, the mornings of having to remind myself NOT to cuddle, the nights of "I'm going to bed now" and NOT expecting a goodnight kiss. Today it hit. This was my lunch.

One of my good friends - she'll remain nameless though I shouldn't encourage protecting the guilty - berated me last night about my post-Breakup "behavior." So I'm a smart ass, big deal. I'm not going to hide how I feel (which is finally moving from "numb and a little mad" to "full on pissed off" with "fucking depressed" visible over the hill). If I have something snarky and a little (or more than a little) mean to say, I'm damn well going to say it. My heart is broken, and I'm supposed to worry about Annie's (or anyone else's) feelings? But she has decided that if I can't play nice I can't play with them at all. How's that for a support system?

The hardest part is that the rest of life doesn't slow down or, God forbid, stop just because my relationship is crashing to pieces around me. Still have to pay the rent, still have to do the dishes, still have to work. Still, still, still. Yay.

So, I'm having a rough day. I'm pissed off. I'm depressed. Good thing I refilled my Zoloft last weekend! Leave me some comment love. Then invite me over for non-date movies and tequila. Then come to my house and help me pack.

1 comment:

Christina said...

I'm sorry to hear about your breakup. You're entitled to your feelings. If you want to be cranky, grumbly, and eat ice cream every lunch day, go for it. Don't let anyone tell you how to feel or when to get over it. Grieve the way you need to grieve. *hugs*

If it makes you feel better, I love having Dibs for lunch, even when I don't have an excuse.